I remember the day I woke up in your dream. Your dream was for me to stay small. I was sad for myself and others to realize I had been conditioned to stay contained in someone else’s vision. Programmed only to make a move when there’s a green light from someone else, the one in charge. Make sure to not make anyone feel uncomfortable with my outspoken thoughts and philosophies. Stay straight in line. Go to school, get good grades and get that job that will comfort me till I die. Buy that stuff, I really needed it they said. Have 2 kids with a two-floor house and put all your stuff in there. What if that wasn’t my dream at all? I was living someone else’s dream. Living to make someone else rich. My whole life Till now I woke up And will never play small again.
Being must be felt. It cannot be thought. – Eckart Tolle
There were many accounts in which my Heart fell out this week. Once physically, in a Dream of course and a handful of other times Emotionally. I studied Dream interpretation till I found the answer that best resonated with the vision. Your Heart falling out in your Dream represents your emotional attachments to others. After my research scratched the lining of my stomach with a knot full of truth, I knew there was work to be done. I searched for answers.
An Elder from my tribe of Wild Women, said I am willfully putting my Heart on the chopping block. Getting chopped away, with all my expectations. My expectations for support and fulfillment with things outside of myself. Chopping and slicing away at my Spiritual talent. She directed me to the work of Eckart Tolle, I chose “The Power of Now” to be my first leap into studying his work.
Listening to the first chapter, of “The Power of Now”, catapulted me into the most breathtaking journey. I travelled down my throat into my chest cavity. My Awareness of ‘Being’ shifted and I was now was Present from my Heart space. I travelled from my head to my Heart, The Vacation I had been longing for. It was quiet down there, cozy and quite warm. All though, like most experiences of this nature, as soon as the Ego kicked in… I jumped back to the chatter in my skull.
I had heard of the journey form your head to your Heart many times in 12 step meetings, but had never truly understood it till now. This experience has changed me. I am now actively regaining “Being” from my Heart Centre, rather then my head. It takes a Conscience effort, but I’m sure this is how we are all naturally Born. This is the “Way of Being” through “Feeling.” Like Eckart explains in his book.
Additionally, I craved a larger audience for my Blog, but this only took my focus away from my writing and Heart Feeling/ Being. It really took away from my Souls Work. In hindsight my expectations for others never panned out, the Universe had better plans. THIS was part of the plan. Another Humbling week it has been. I have come to conclusion I don’t know what is best for me…my perceived “defeats”, always lead to my Surrender and though Surrendering I am Free once again.