Anxiety Ridden to Anxiety​ Rid-of

I use to be the most anxious anxiety-ridden person I have ever met and or heard of. If you talk to anyone who knew me as a teenager or during my early recovery process, they will without a doubt say the same thing. As I started to take personal responsibility for my own life, my terrible “mental illness” has dissipated. In retrospect, I’ve realized for myself, as the drugs began to detox from my body, that it was more of an energetic illness than a mental illness. Energetically I was not aligned with my true self and the root cause of that was a closure of my throat chakra.

I have come to learn that my anxiety was a direct response to my inability to speak my truth and fear of confrontation. I found myself in places with people doing things I hated for years. I do not think this is a unique situation and the only reason I am speaking out about it is I believe it could bring awareness to others suffering from anxiety as well.

I hated school, I knew the structure was corrupt and the information was useless but the only people I could find who believed me were the “misfits.” I didn’t even want to be friends with the “bad kids,” but I found it was the only way I could find some validation for my intuitive thoughts and feelings about the world at large. I didn’t like cheating, stealing and lying, but I did love the drugs. I loved the elated feeling of euphoria, it was the closest to God I could get. But doing bad things and doing drugs gave me even more anxiety.

Like I mentioned before my throat chakra was closed “af,” my communication was also terrible. I would choke on my words of truth like I was saying the worst swear word in the world. It was like that for years, really until I started the blog, found some other modern mystics I could get totally get real with via the internet and prayers answered. I then knew I wasn’t crazy, but I was waking and was a wounded healer.

Clearing my throat chakra has been some of the hardest work I have ever done, if not the hardest. But the most rewarding and biggest catalyst to growth and expansion than any drug or retreat could ever do and I did it all by myself. This is not to say I didn’t do extensive work with counsellors, therapists and healers. But ultimately they were just guides and I was the one who did the work.

When I started doing the work by taking full responsibility for my healing and stopped putting myself in energetic places with the wrong people and things, everything started to shift. This has taken just over 4 years to do. That’s not to say Mental health is not to be taken lightly, it is very serious and is a scientific physical matter along with a spiritual one. Both must be considered while healing.

I can’t help you with the physical aspects of your mental health, that is for a professional, but I can help you with your Spiritual Healing. If you would like to start work on finding your voice, in order to start sharing your message please don’t hesitate to contact me. I want to know what’s holding you back? What do you want to share with the world? Seriously, I want to help you come out of the spiritual closet and step into your power.

Letter to Peterson.

Dear Mr. Jordan Peterson,

In your current published literature, 12 Rules for Life, I have found my past self been spoken of far too often. As if the book was written for me and about me. I was the lobster that would back away from a fight, a low bottom feeder number one and an agoraphobic depressed person. All though to date, the current ranking has changed and now a more domineering lobster winning against battle, your words have immensely strung on my heartstrings. How could all my unanswered questions about anxiety, depression, and agoraphobia go unanswered through years of professional evaluation and therapies, be answered in one short chapter? It is if the words of God have been placed at your fingertips for the typing and production of this book, quite like the new age Bible if you will. I couldn’t help myself but to playback the tapes of being agoraphobic and the insanities it traps you within the walls of your home and mind. Living the desperation and existential thoughts and behaviors of a number one type of person may haunt my memory forever. On the contrary, I do feel a large amount of responsibility and passion, due to those experiences, to help others lift their ranking as well. Especially those who have been attacked and attracted to the narcissists and sociopaths, do to their low levels of serotonin. I agree with your theories, philosophies, and proposal for a new way of living. The way forward is to make our lives sacred again. Just like much of the teachings of the Ying and the yang, to balance both our Worldly duties and the laws of the Universe in our daily reality. Additionally, rather than the pursuit of happiness, the pursuit of radical acceptance for all that is not of our control and putting a foot forward in action to change what we can at any given moment. Be bold and unapologetic in all that we do, with morals and bravery. Lastly, global and social change starts with individuals taking responsibility for their actions. It is not our responsibility for the bad things that happen to us, but our responsibility to change our reactions to them. Will we let the bad things that happened to us keep us as the lobster that continually back away from life? Or will we take responsibility for our ranking and set forth the change needed, because the truth is no one else will. I look forward to the second rule for living. Thank you for your teaching “Stand up straight with your shoulders back.”

Sincerely,
M.

Electric.

Today I woke up with an electric current running through my veins. With the Sun entering Aries at 2:58 and the Spring Equinox also taking place, the lively Energy had me buzzing. Entering the realms of anxiety, I was feeling intoxicated by the new dawn of Spring and Aries energy. To top it all off with even more excitement, The Full SuperMoon was to bloom in Libra at 6:43.

Around mid-day, my head was in a complete spin. I took a few minutes to sit in silence. During the meditation it came clear to me, I was being called to Gaia, to realign my Inner Divinity. I listened to a Root Chakra composition, of soothing instrumentals, then headed to the park. There I sat in the grass, with my feet on the ground. The warm blanket of Spring all around me. I felt rooted in Her again.

During Sunset I went on a walk, to end the day. I said “thanks” to Luna for all she does. While walking, I kept looking up at her. Admiring and acknowledging Her Beauty and Wholeness. Appearing extra bold, She illuminated the night sky with her Super presence. Being softened by each breath of the first Spring night air. I ended the evening Grounded and Balanced in true Libra Essence.