Time feels like it is going faster in our modern world of constant hustle, the daily grind and instant gratification. I’ve asked a few others “do you feel like time is going faster now?” All replying “yes”. I remember my ephiphony that time is an illusion. I came to this understanding in my past, while being a student to plant medicine, many moons ago. So, If time is an illusion, then how do we beat this overwhelming Feeling of being constantly busy? The answer I have been shown, is to make our lives sacred again.
Our “Time” is what is most valuable, that being what we focus our Energy towards. It is also the most overlooked and least understood currency. Learning to reprogram myself to spend my Energy on what really matters, has been a painful awakening. I am still learning each day, as more is being revealed. I use to spend my energy trying to fill the void with cheap thrills and quick fixes. Cutting the chords to my codependencies has brought me to ground zero. The foundation of rebuilding my temple (inner world) has been built upon Honesty, Open Mindedness and Willingness. Building solid grounds is a necessity to making our lives sacred again.
While Rebuilding my Temple I learned how to eat food with mindfulness and that of real nutrition. Find the silver linings, as well as show Gratitude for the Blessings and also the Lessons. Own my part, own my choices. Spend time with people who support me. Decorate my house with beauty and art that inspire me daily. Remembering to say “I love you”, to those I hold closest to my heart. Learning what really matters to me and then focusing in on that. All these practices will beat the overwhelming feeling of the quickening. Making your life sacred and rebuilding your inner Temple will lead you to a life of “being”, rather then constantly “doing.” Rebuild your Inner temple with the “time” we have today, decorate it with beauty and sacredness – you’re worth it.
They call it Rain City, a place made for souls who need cleansing.
With our repetitive stumbling, lingering loathing and confused wandering around the crown-top mountains.
The thunder mixed emotions and mirrored souls that ride the highs and lows with each person they encounter.
I continue to pray that the daily floods and potent currents will redirected us on our lost path.
With dry hands up towards the sky, we surrender and plea – she baptizes us back to purity with her holy tears.
My love I know our lost hands are lonely.
We have yet shed our all of our fears.
So follow your bliss and empty your heart.
Let us meet on the other side of this test.
My hopes are high, for whoever you shall you be.
& I will call your warm heart a home for these cold palms.
All alone, is how I saved me.
The Mountains couldn’t save me. The doctors or the nurses couldn’t save me.
The psychiatrists or the pills. Jesus or Mohammed couldn’t save me.
My family or my Lovers. That cat or the money couldn’t save me.
That trip, the house, the dress, the make up, the job, even the sex couldn’t save me.
She said “I’m serving recovery, to you, on a silver plater” but she couldn’t save me.
The fear of living had to become greater than the fear of drowning.
It wasn’t until they all left me in silence, that I could began to save myself from my mind.
The night before rehab feels the same as the moment after the awareness hits. The awareness of your unconscious patterns and loops is no longer serving you. Though, unlike the drugs, your limiting beliefs protected you – but really who’s to say the drugs didn’t keep you alive?
Nevertheless, those old beliefs or magical potions don’t work anymore. You try to cram all the dope into your body and silly antics out your mind – leading up to the next morning but they’re worn out. Your heavy heart knows the lesson have expired. “It” the shity behaviour and belief you’re unlovable won’t serve you anymore. “So what happens to me now?” You think. Will I just become “the hole in the donut” and will life be boring beyond The Unknown. Will I ever have fun again? Have I ever had fun? Who am I really without my shields? Will anyone love me without a mask.
All in the same go…this place in between two worlds is all so scary and yet so incredibly satisfying – having finally surrendered. The daylight hits the sky, bags packed and now you’re in withdrawal. Ready to take off, as you wonder when will both your feet land in one world? Cause you know and feel now that “you can’t be neutral on a moving train” any longer.
Only you can wash the residue of dust and smoke from your own mirrors.
I promise the pang of humility, striking at first, will only sting momentarily.
Contrary to the painful shackles of ones pride and ego that could last a life time.
Therefore, the only true pain in this life is the bondage to one’s never-ending self-deception.
Like quantum art, we’re being reborn through sexuality, sensuality, meditation and tantric experience.
Divine forces coming together. The inner divinity of it all. Divine feminine beauty and divine masculine strength.
Our new energy awoken, like evolutionary inception, from within the cosmic intelligence held within our souls hidden galaxies.
Darling, let’s just call it a the season of the highest.
In the skin, you’re in.
With the people, you aligned with.
On the path, you chose, for your greatest expansion.
Be here now
With the karma and lessons, you’ve accumulated.
With the belongings you attracted and with that job, you get to have.
Be Here Now and after the next now.
Now is what’s real and what’s forever.
I am shedding dried out thoughts.
I am slithering through new dimensions.
I am hissing chants and songs of new stories.
I am eating the abundance whole and fiercely.
I am a snake in essence, as I claim my God-given vision for me, for you and everyone we know.
Here I am World, hear me rattle.
Before I dove into the depths of numerology and other mystical teachings I feared the signs of death. Also since now understanding, we are cyclical beings, forever experiencing a rebirth and death process, I celebrate the death of my cycles.
Today I am five years clean and sober and have experienced the signs of a cycle ending for the last few days. It started with a spray-painted grim reaper on a train I spotted and caught a film of two days ago. All though eery in nature, he was only passing by and was the first representation of ending a chapter.
Yesterday, while under the presence of the full moon I enjoyed a tarot reading for my sign, in which the death card presented itself. In tarot, the Death card simply symbolizes an ending of a cycle and or suffering of some sort, implying a new beginning is just around the corner.
Later that night, just before I went to bed, I kicked over my laundry bucket. Thinking to myself what does that mean again? I looked it up and It said: “to die.” At first, being shocked but then realizing my gut felt good and my heart felt full. Then it all clicked! These were all signs a cycle was ending. I did a little jump for joy and celebrated the ending of suffering.
Getting to five years clean I have endured many forms of suffering and have risen above all challenges presented to me. I am a scary strong, fierce and strong-willed I have learnt, a true force to be reckoned with.
After my little dance in celebration, I went to bed. Waking up to my 5 years today felt amazing and all though I wasn’t seeing fives. I was being shown 999.
9 is the last single digit, symbolizing the ending. 999 represents a cycle of completion. I giggled as I saw 999 on my radio and a license plate and thanked the Universe for the confirmation. I can feel it in every cell of my body, a new beginning is just around the corner and I can’t wait to see it unfold.