Truth be told I have an undying love for scripture, it has gotten me through some very difficult times. Through plant medicine and reading sacred scripture I had my spiritual awakening in 2014. Jeremiah 29:11, inparticularly, has got me through some dark times and It is once again is painting a vision of hope for me. This world panademic, just like everyone else, has caused many cancellations in my plans and forced me to paint a new vision for the future in my heart.
Flash back to 2014-2915 I spent 7 months at the last treatment centre I was at for drugs and alcohol. I was there for so long because well I had no where to go to, no place to call home to return too. I waited to be accepted into social housing, an “addictions recovery housing.” When I finally got my suite, it was so exciting to return to “the real world.” I would be able to use the internet, come and go as I please and eat what I wanted. All though, the living conditions where so much worse then treatment.
I would lay awake every night, fighting my sleep medication to stay awake. As I layed on a foam mattress (I got for free), I would wonder how many bed bugs bites I would find the next morning on my body. I had a stalker next door to me and below me a man who smoked drugs everyday. The cops were around my building a lot. It was a dissaster – but it was my own space. My own space, something I hadn’t had in years. On the upside I didn’t have to leave my house to have my morning coffee and cigrettes, I could just have them in bed. It was a roller coaster for sure, I did question relapsing many times – just so I could go back to some where that felt safe, All though, there was something that kept me going and that was Jeremiah 29:11.
I had received a gift from my ex’s mom, who was the Sunday school teacher and wife of the pastor at her church. She came to my rehab centre almost every weekend – when I wasn’t grounded. We would knit and do bible study. She gifted me a few things while I was there and a stone cross with “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”- was one of those gifts.
Living in that social housing suite was so insane, but I knew it wasn’t going to be forever. I knew if I were to use (drugs or alcohol) I would probably end up with a toe tag anyways – and trust me some days that sounded just fine. However there was that mini cross statue, with the scripture that would remind me if I kept holding on good things would come. If it had worked for others it could work for me, faith that is in a bigger plan for me to prosper.
I am beyond grateful I held tight to my spirituality and faith that got through those dark days. I now have a life beyond my wildest dreams and it keeps getting better. So in times like these (a world crisis) when everything feels as if it is falling apart and it seems we are taking steps backwards rather than forwards… just remember god/universe/spirit has a plan bigger and better then you ever could imagine. We would not know the light without the shadows and in the end Love will always win if we choose to believe in it.