The night before rehab feels the same as the moment after the awareness hits. The awareness of your unconscious patterns and loops is no longer serving you. Though, unlike the drugs, your limiting beliefs protected you – but really who’s to say the drugs didn’t keep you alive?
Nevertheless, those old beliefs or magical potions don’t work anymore. You try to cram all the dope into your body and silly antics out your mind – leading up to the next morning but they’re worn out. Your heavy heart knows the lesson have expired. “It” the shity behaviour and belief you’re unlovable won’t serve you anymore. “So what happens to me now?” You think. Will I just become “the hole in the donut” and will life be boring beyond The Unknown. Will I ever have fun again? Have I ever had fun? Who am I really without my shields? Will anyone love me without a mask.
All in the same go…this place in between two worlds is all so scary and yet so incredibly satisfying – having finally surrendered. The daylight hits the sky, bags packed and now you’re in withdrawal. Ready to take off, as you wonder when will both your feet land in one world? Cause you know and feel now that “you can’t be neutral on a moving train” any longer.