Sometimes she would roar and nothing would come out.
She hid parts of herself in the shadows for too long. In fear, she was not enough. Soft enough, feminine enough and likable. In her darkest days she even feared she was unlovable.
Her conditioning put a choke hold on her.
She repressed her anger and fury for years. Consequently, alongside the rage, her passionate and courageous side was also stuffed away.
Sometimes she would roar and her own voice would scare her.
She learned as a young cub, to remain calm and quiet around other lions. As it was more comforting and easier for others to digest.
“Please, don’t be bold and truthful to thyself. Why can’t you be like everyone else, I’m worried about you.” They would say.
Though today was one of those miraculous days when enough was enough.
But where do I start?
Where do I go?
Who won’t I be anymore?
Who will I lose? On this journey into the portal of new heights! I so desperately long for.
The lionesses mind habitually swirled with self-defeating and fearful thoughts.
She tried to roar again, this time it didn’t shake her.
“The weights of your sleepiness and boring mind games are the shackles to my future.” I will have to tell them.
“Harsh.” you will say.
But why should I live one more day a slave to your comforts! When down to my deepest core and marrow I ache to be free of your approval. She thought to herself, as she projected her future battles in her mind’s eye.
She suddenly burst out loud “It is not your fault or mine, who made these made up rules, but it is my responsibility to claim my roar!”
She knew to be courageous she would have to be vulnerable. She knew to be raw, to be real is to be brave.
This time she claimed her roar.
I want to lead the pack, she thought to herself.
She then made a promise to herself she would not have the ties of others beliefs and values pin her down anymore. Alongside with her dreams being woven into the facade of societal feminine norms stop her from leading the pack home any longer.
“Today I am breaking free! Love me or hate me, I don’t care anymore, I choose me.” she roared.
She then fiercely led the pack home. Inspiring other lost Lioness to find and claim their unique roar. Cubs eyes sparked as they watched their Mothers and Sisters dance and roar to their new found freedom.
One cub whispered to another ” I hope one day, I can be that brave too.”
Watercolour “Lioness” by Sonia V